Friendships

What constitutes a friend?

So what is a true friend?

With friends like these who needs enemies?


In pondering these questions, I think back on some great friendships and some that I thought were my friends but instead they turned out not to be what I thought they were. It was a hurtful experience to go through. So in looking at what the Bible shows us on friendship, we get a good idea of what contitutes friendship.


When I was in the worldly way, this saying easily fell from my lips:

"I have friends as long as I have a dollar in my pocket".

This is the greedy friendships that are not interested in you but what you can give them. I soon realized that these were not the real friendship that I longed for.

So how does one know a true friend from a counterfeit?

A true friend will never purposely hurt you. I was thinking about the Donkey that spoke to Balaam. The donkey was Balaam's true friend, even though Balaam treated the donkey badly. To Balaam the donkey was just a work animal. In the animal kingdom, I find our pets show this true friendship. They love us unconditionally. They are there for us no matter what happens, and they never hurt us, they are protective of us. We reciprocate that back to them.

A friend will never ask you to do something that you know is wrong. Balaam was doing something he knew was wrong. GOD had already come to him and told him to change his plans. Balaam did not do what was right, because his greed overpowered him. His friends were with him, but when trouble came up, they were not helpful to him.


The Bible gives us several examples. here are a couple...

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

There is another saying, "Birds of a feather flock together".

If you agree with what your friends are doing even though you know that what they are doing is wrong, then you become like them. Friends can lead you away from the very things that you thought you believed in.

If you are looking to improve your social status, you have friends...but not every "friend" is what you really want.

Are you looking to improve your job status, then you have friends...but not everything is what it seems.

JESUS had friends. He was a friend too. It was reciprical.

Jesus friends stood beside him, ate with him, walked with him and talked with him. They believed the same things that he did. They wanted to be like minded with him.

All but one...Judas. Judas fell from that friendship. (We have all met a Judas before. He was the enemy among your friends.) He acted the part, but had an alterier motive. He was going to get rich quick at JESUS expense. Only that backfired on Judas, and we know that he repented by giving back the 30 peices of silver, but he couldn't change the course for JESUS. Judas fell into dispair. You see Judas finally got just who JESUS was, only too late.

I have had friends like this before. They are all up in your life and agreeing with you. But soon they realize that you are not meeting the greediness of their heart. you can't give them the material things that they want. They sell you out.



...just some thoughts about in friendships.

Friends are like minded, they like the same things.

They stand by you through adversity.

They don't kick you when you are down, they lift you up.

They are supportive of things that are important to you

They value the same morals that you do.

They do not falsely accuse you.

Your friendship reciprocates and gives back to the friendship.

There is a level of trust that is built up.

Have you had friends that turned on you when you didn't want to go the way that they did? Did you know what your friends were doing was wrong in the Lord's eyes?

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Proverbs 19:6 Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.

Micah 7:5 Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom.

Matthew 11:19 The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is justified of her children.

Luke 7:34 The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!

Luke 11:5 And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; 6 For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him?

James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

What kind of Friends did Job have?

What kind of friends did Daniel have?

Both of these men were men of faith and had great endurance to the trials that were set before them. They had great success and were blessed by GOD because of their faith in him. However the friends were different...

When Job lost all that he had, his friends didn't come to his aide, they riddiculed and condemned him. They were a thorn in his flesh...

Daniel also had three friends that went through the firey furnace with him. Not only did they stand beside him, they prayed with him, they refused to bow to the king's image and they stood up and honored GOD in the face of adversity.

What type of friends do you have?

I once had a friend many years ago. She had moved into our neighborhood, and was a step sister to one of my dear friends. After a while her true nature was revealed. She wanted to fight me. After school each day she would taunt me on my way home. This went on for 2 long years! We lived only a few doors apart too, so I had to listen to her rants every day. One day she attacked me and called my mother all sorts of names! She turned into a vile creature before my eyes. Before that day I never knew I could fight! I didn't want to fight with her, only to be her firend. But this wasn't what she wanted. I saw for the first time her true nature. She was full of jealousy and rage. It took her down a lonely road eventually. I was young then too, maybe 11 or 12 years old. I will never forget it. But I had to see her everyday. I learned at a young age what it meant to forgive your enemies. You know, I still think about her, and when I am reminded I ask the LORD to bless her and I pray for her soul.

This was a false friendship. I learned at an early age about friends. Many of my childhood friends are still in contact with me. We have built a trusting relationship over many years! I have witnessed many things in their lives and they have witnessed many things in my life. We share our burdens with each other and we are like minded when it comes to the LORD. He is our giver of all things..... My faith in HIM is never shaken! These things only make me stronger in HIM. For when I am weak HE is Stong!

The best friend I have today, is JESUS!

The Bible says that a friend sticketh closer than a brother. The WORD rings with wisdom and truth.

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

In mom's life, she remembered her friends, both the true friends that were few and far between and those that had left her hurt and confused. She never forgot any of them and would pray for all of them when they were brought to remembrance.

I too understood my mother's cautions over friendship. Many that I thought were my friends eventually would turn away and often with much bitterness in their hearts. I still pray for them. When I think back, I always ask the LORD to forgive me if I was the cause of any of that bitterness.

There are few friends that stick with you throughout life. I have been priveleged to have some of those friendships that have stood the test of time. Most of my friends have moved away to different states, but somehow we have managed to keep in touch. The LORD presses my memories of others that turned away and never looked back too. I still pray for them.

I feel a blessing when I make a new friend along lifes path. Whatever the time is alloted for that friendship, I try to be a true friend, even when I stand accused of being otherwise. The LORD knows our hearts. Friendships can go one of two directions. Daniel and Job had very different friends. One had the friendship that lasts a lifetime, the other had friends that were not truely friends.


My dad, had friends too. Many that we never knew. When dad passed away it was standing room only at his funeral. This speaks about a life that reached out and touched everyone he met. Dad had a heart for people in need too. He showed the LOVE of Christ by doing things to help others over the years. Many never forgot his kindness, and were we suprised at the response over his passing.

One may never know the quality of friendship in this lifetime. It is our responsibility to make the most out of the paths that we cross. How we choose to treat others ultimately comes back.

What kind of friend you are to others, always comes accross. Sooner or later the way you treat others catches up to you too.

It really comes back to how we treat one another.

Matthew 7:12 Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.

John 15:13-15 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

As I was praying this morning, the LORD quickened my heart, to bring this post forward. I pray that it will be a blessing to someone that is hurting right now. We are to love one another, as CHRIST loves us.